Best of Friends
by TinyCitrusLegs
Summary: Eridan has a dreadful secret, one that he hoped that no one would ever find out. But at his darkest moment, it's all out in the open. Can he rely on the one person that matters to help him through it?
1. Chapter 1

Reader: Be the douchebag hipster.

Contrary to the fucking beliefs of most ignorant trash, being the 'douchebag hipster' isn't as easy as it sounds. There's fucking expectations, judgement, and the need for goddamn perfection. Throughout the neighborhood and student body, your only flaw seems to be a pompous attitude, or even being 'too perfect' to people who are too ignorant to think of a better word.

And you get it.

Yeah, you're rich, filthy fucking rich, and you're not half-bad lookin' either. You get good grades, acceptance into your ideal college, admiration, friends, and even a beautiful girlfriend. Hell, even your family life is at ease! On the outside, with your fashion sense to accentuate it, you are just perfect.

Shit, that's a bunch of bull.

They don't understand how **imperfect **you are. They don't get how awkward it is for you to just walk along the sidewalk every day. They can't fucking fathom how disgusting it is for you to be who you are every single day of your foul life.

It's surprising how clueless they are.

Fef never questions you when things are getting close and personal, when you're cuddling, and she feels your freshly shaven legs. Sol always just snickers and taunts when you refuse to change in front of the other guys after gym class. And Cronus, the only family you actually connect with, never notices your uncomfortable demeanor when he brags about all the girls he's banged.

And dad, shit, he didn't know a thing.

Maybe that's what made it all the more worse of an outcome.

You were a, usually, very diligent person. Since your revelation of what money was, your father had been giving you a healthy allowance just to shut you up. That being said, you didn't get away with buying useless fandom merch or things for your multiple teenage goth or punk phases.

Oh, but you found a way.

Your father didn't know what the impact of twenty dollars was, but you did. Every month, you got another article to add to your changing form. Now, at the seventh month, you were almost complete.

You stand in front of your full length mirror as you struggle with trying to get your pigtails looking symmetrical. Once they are, your hands fall limp at your sides and you stare. The red pleated skirt hugging your hips is far above your knees, but you have stripped tights of violet and black to solve that slight problem. You blame your once very enthusiastic love for astrology for the jagged streaks of purple symbolizing your zodiac sign on your tube top (you're still proud of how colorfully aesthetic it looks). It's your stripped hand warmers that are the newest addition to the mix.

The only thing left from your alternate persona are the multiple rings (pure gold, hella!) adorned on your thin fingers, and they seem to give a good grandios to your outfit. Your fingers fidget at the edge of your skirt, making sure it's perfect, before trailing up to pay attention to a tuft of hair that always tends to puff out despite all of your hair products. You think you might dye it violet.

You had been staring at your hair for so long, it took you a while to drift away from the subject. When you finally looked at your full reflection, there's a certain warmth in your chest. What would other people feel in this situation? Would they feel awkward? Humored? Maybe even disgust? To be honest, you don't actually give a shit about what the answers to these questions are. All you care about, right now, is how you feel. That awkward thickness in your gut has dissipated. Your skin isn't crawling anymore. And that stupid fucking shiver that goes through your body every time you think about that thing that hangs between your legs… shit, that feeling's gone.

Now… **now **you're perfect.

"What the _hell _do you think you're doin', boy?!"

And then it's all back. You gut is full, your skin is aching, and shivers are racking through your body like you're on vibrate.

You spin around, covering yourself with flimsy hands. "D-Dad, I can explain. Please, jus-" And then you scream, just shit, it hurts when someone yanks you to the floor by your hair.

"You dressing like a fuckin' tranny boy? Is that what you're trying to do? Be a freak?!" He demands an answer, but you can't produce a single word with tears choking you beyond belief. Tears stream down your face, dragging ugly, dark smudges from your makeup down your cheeks, as your father rips apart your clothing and rips your hair till the pigtails come out.

"If that's what you want to be, then you ain't no son of mine, you hear that boy?!" He tells (or yells at) you as he drags you by your flimsy hair to the front door. "And if you ain't my son, then you get outta my house!"  
>~<p>

That's how it all happened, and that's how you found yourself at a dingy old apartment complex, a mess of your former self. It's in these times of need that you realize who you need to go to, and you couldn't come up with anyone else but Karkat.

Remember back in middle school, that group of friends you used to associate with a whole lot? And then, when high school came, they would abandon you like trash? Well, that was your relationship with Karkat, except, he was the one that was abandoned like trash.

You don't feel right when you knock on the door to his apartment, even worse when you can hear his dad yelling in annoyance (who the hell is that so late at night?!). That feeling in your gut is pulsing, begging you to leave and cry in a damn ditch, where you belong, but you never get that chance because the door opens too soon.

Karkat is there, in mere boxers and an oversized college sweatshirt handed down from his older brother, looking beyond tired and bedraggled. When he sees you, his frustrated expression grows blank.

"Hey, Kar…" You murmur in introduction. It gets you no response or change of expression, so you try to stifle your sniffle so you can continue to voice, "My- dad- he kicked me out." A sort of realization develops on Karkat's face, and he frowns, and you panic. "I- I know we haven't talked in a while, and it's real dickish of me to come all a sudden. I just didn't know where to go an- god- I'm so afraid now, Kar, I don't know what to do."

The shorter boy is still pissed off looking, even more so than what you remembered him usually looking. From wherever that anger stemmed, it seems to relax, and he becomes blank again. "Come in, Ampora."  
>~<p>

He lets you have your time in the bathroom to clean up your flushed face (shit you must've looked ridiculous with all that running mascara), and it takes you a while to gain the confidence to walk back out in what's left of your outfit. When Karkat sees you for what you are, you're afraid his expression will twist up in disgust, but it doesn't. Instead, he looks you in the eye and asks, "Want to put on something else? Your clothes look like they were run through a woodchipper…"

And that's how you end up wearing a pair of pajamas three sizes too small and standing awkwardly off to the side as Karkat sets up an inflatable bed in his room for you to sleep on.

You both settle down in silence, the light turning out for sleep once more as you try to relax. The question begs at the front of your mind, and you have to ask it before you feel at ease enough to actually rest.

"Kar- do you hate me?"

"What?" This word comes out with so much force and disbelief that you're almost scared to speak again. You were about to emphasize your meaning when you hear a shifting and see, in the darkness, the shadow of the Vantas sitting up in his bed. "Do I hate you? What reason do I have to hate you?"

It's your turn to be in disbelief. You slowly gather yourself to sit up so you can look at him properly. Your thoughts soon form into coherent ideas, and you spurt them out, "There's a lot! I've treated you like garbage since freshmen year. We never talk anymore, even after being best friends, and then I suddenly show up at your door steps as a fuckin' tranny and expect you to shelter me. And look at me? I'm the one who's fuckin' garbage! A disgusting, god damn freak who likes to dress up in women's clothing, who- who… who wants to be- something he's not, right? How can you not hate that?"

You come to think you get more disgusting even as you speak with tears trailing down your cheeks once more. Your head turns away so he doesn't see your disgusting, ugly, foul face, and break out into heavy whimpers.

And then the bed sinks, you lift your head, and squeak softly when you are dragged into a tight embrace that is kind of a sad excuse for a hug. It's almost desperate, in a way, but soon relaxing when he moves to holding you and petting a hand along your ravaged hair.

This moment, this hug, lasts for the longest time, so long, in fact, that your tears stop and you begin to almost purr in relaxation. But, you're not a fucking cat, and you don't purr. Instead, you hum softly, a sort of tune that you can't quite put your finger on, and you stare curiously up at Karkat, who is intensely squeezing his eyes shut with a focused curl of his brow.

"Kar- would you- say somethin'?" You beckon shyly as you shift within the hug, trying to make him look at you so you can see his true feelings.

"Yeah- I'll say something," he agrees, opening his eyes as he relaxes his hold on you. You can see it then, his true feelings, and all you can find is warmth. "Eridan, you were one of my closest friends way back in middle school. Sure, I held some resentment when you left me in the dust, maybe I still do, but when a person needs something, and that something is just a person to hold them up, then that is exactly what a friend is supposed to do: be there." Karkat scooted forward, moving to cup your hand. "And- you know what? Whoever said that shit about you being disgusting is a fucking tool. Eridan, the most important thing in life is to be who you want to be, to be who you truly are, and if who you are is a woman, some other gender, or if that's just the way that you wanna dress, then that is who you are, and you can NEVER let anyone tell you something different."

When he says this, he gives you the most sure gaze imaginable, and your heart almost freezes in your chest. You can feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but this time, it isn't out of sadness.

"You gotta find people who love, support, and appreciate you for who you are," Karkat advised, holding tightly onto your hand. "Do you get what I'm saying, Eridan?"

You can feel those tears crawling down your face again, and you sniffle, trying not to cry even more, but it's hard when you feel him brushing those tears away. "Yeah- I know what you're saying, Kar," You respond, smiling softly.

Karkat laughs softly and manages a gentle grin back. "Good. Now, get some fucking sleep, your eyes are all puffy and red and looking tired isn't a good look for anyone. Some sleep will do you good."


	2. Chapter 2

Reader: Be the Douchebag Hipster

There was a reason for everything. That's something every person learns sometime or another. One of the most cardinal rules of humankind is that humans are selfish. There is NEVER an unselfish person.

"I heard that you got kicked out." Of course that's the first phrase that comes out of his mouth. When you look up at the lanky fellow, he's giving back a curious expression, one of intrigue to your current affairs. "What happened? Did daddy catch you wasting your allowance?"

You almost blushed, for it was beyond true. Instead of coloring though, you narrow your brow at him to throw him off your scent. "Shut up about it, Sol. It was- a tough situation…"

He seemed halfway apologetic, but then again, he could be putting it on for show. "Hey- I'm sorry ED. I was just joking. I'm your friend, right? We can talk about it, y'know?"

The way he comforts is similar to how friends treat each other, normal, totally expected, but there's something about it that you don't quite like, never really liked. Maybe this was due to your sudden re-alliance with Karkat that made your standards so high. Considering this possibility, you tried to see the situation through the Captor's eyes.

"Yah- I know we can talk," you answer at first. At that point, you both pay attention to the teacher up front blabbering about new equations that you have to put on a notecard. Even then, though, you speak to him softly, "Maybe we could talk- and hang out or somethin'? I don't quite have anywhere to go after school…"

"Yeah- yeah- that sounds cool."

.

"So, what happened?" Sollux asks nonchalantly when he finally enters the basement, in tow with two cans of Mountain Dew. You had been waiting down there for nearly twenty minutes, the other previously having to help his older brother figure out his mathwork.

He hands you one of the cans of soda and plops onto the couch beside you, flicking through the channels without giving much of a glance at the actual shows. You can't seem to open the can, you weren't even thirsty, so you thumb at the tab off-handedly. "I suppose- well- you know how Kanaya's mom almost kicked her out when she said she had a girlfriend?"

Sollux gives a nod, staring at the tv. "Yeah, I know."

"It's kind of like that."

"So, you're saying you're gay?"

"No- I said it's kind of like that."

The Captor sits back with a sigh, slumping in his characteristically way. "Then what is 'it'? Why'd he kick you out?"

You're still thumbing at the tab slowly, not daring to give him any sort of glance. There's a lump in your throat, like when you first realized you're dad had walked in on you, or when you were at Karkat's doorstep. "I'm- I don't identify as cisgendered," you admit, almost choking midway through.

"What? Cisgender?" He asks numbly, brow scrunching as he looks at the television.

"It means- being comfortable in the gender you were born with…" You explain thickly, still not looking at him.

It takes him a moment, but after a few seconds, he grabs the remote and mutes the tv. "Wait- so- you're saying that you feel like a girl, or something?"

"Kind of," you agree, looking away. "I feel better when I dress like a girl."

He's silent for a long time, staring at the tv in what seems to be concentration. After a bit, Sollux sighs and leans back again, crossing his legs. "So, your dad kicked you out because you like to dress like a girl." You nodded at his words, now finally looking at his expression. It is void of negativity. "How did he find out?"

"He walked in on me- I was wearing one of my particular outfits…"

You could've sworn you saw something flash in the Captor's eyes, but then again, you've been wrong before.

"That is very unfortunate." Is the last thing he says before unmuting the tv.

.

-Eridan, I don't t)(ink we'll work out anymore.

It was nice knowing you.

That was certainly quite the morning welcome.

You sit straight up from the blow-up bed and squint at your phone with confusion. Karkat, just beside you in his own bed, is scratching his head and sighing in agitation from the awkward way he slept. "What're you staring at your phone for?"

As the realization sits in, your jaw falls slack and your expression weighns. "Fef broke up with me."

Karkat's brow arches, and he gives a soft exhale. "Oh- I'm sorry about that. Did she say why?"

And that's when you frown. "No. She didn't say a thing. And I don't know why…"

Why?

Sometimes that always seems like the question that you have to ask. This time, you get an answer.

When you enter the school, the first thing you notice is the few other students off to the side, giving you slight glances and giggling at your entrance. It's strange, and you don't suspect a thing quite at that moment.

Then, as you turn down the hall to where your locker would be, a person passes by, muttering a harsh word in your direction. You request for him to repeat his insult, but he merely laughs. Then you get to your locker, and you realize why.

There's a picture there, your school photo, but it's edited sloppily to make it look like you're wearing make up. The words 'fucking tranny' are drawn over the top in permanent marker. It makes you want to cry, but it gets worse. The same pictures are pasted around the school, on lockers, doors, and even desks that you usually sat in . People were insulting you the entire time, sometimes even threatening physical harm. You were tripped twice.

During your last class period, you caught a glimpse of Sollux, grinning a shit-eating smile at your distressed form. You approached him with rage in your glance. "Why'd you do this?! I know ya did! Why?!"

The Captor's grin remained in place, and he laughed slightly with a roll of his shoulders. "Why not?"

.

You could hear his footsteps from the hallway, but you hadn't registered it was him until you heard his signature voice. "Eridan. Hey, I talked with my dad a bit ago. He told me my aunt's looking to get rid of old clothes, she might have something you could use," The Vantas expressed, marching up to the desk where you sat at.

You couldn't gather the strength to lift your head from your folded arms. It was nearly thirty minutes after class had ended, and you just couldn't move.

Karkat slings his backpack off and tilts his head in your direction. "Why the hell are you staying in this for shit school anyway? We should be getting back, I've got shit I have to get done." You don't answer, it's too hard. "Eridan- hey, Eridan. Come on. Are you okay?"

You feel his hand on your shoulder, and there's just enough strength in your back for you to sit up. Once he sees your expression, his face softens and gains an aura of concern. "What happened?"

"Please- let's just go now…"

.

When you explain what happened, Karkat could only sigh. You would have expected an outburst of anger, a smartass remark, or even the threat of some sort of punishment, but you don't receive any of that. Instead, the Vantas seems to crawl into himself to think. He does this for a very long time, so long that his father comes in at one point with a bag of clothing that he picked up from said aunt's house.

The two of you go through the clothing, having to chuck most of it due to your glamorous sense of fashion. Even so, some of it seems suitable, so you hold onto said clothes for safe keeping.

By mid-evening you two are then sitting on the floor of his room, Karkat playing an rpg on his xbox and you slowly working through the latest math assignment. The attention it takes to work on the numbers is maddening, and you can barely get through it, but you do in time, and you move on to watching your friend do missions in the game.

"People are always going to be assholes, you know. And there's nothing you're going to be able to do to change it," he says suddenly, attention splayed on the screen for one brief moment before turning to face you. His voice sounded sad, but matter of factly, and although there is a sadness it brings within you, there is a form of resolution. "But you remember what I told you before, right? About how you need to find people who support you?"

You nod slowly and lift your head to look at him in a proper fashion. Karkat sighs softly, and his hand moves to envelop your own in a firm grasp. "I'll be there. I'll support you, and I always will," he promises.

And you believe him.

.

"Shit…" By an unfortunate coincidence, the blow up bed had popped in one place, and there seemed to be no way for it to be blown back up. You found yourself and Karkat sharing his bed, both of you believing it suitable and easy enough to lie face to face.

"Kar- I'm really scared…" You admit, looking at him with cowardly eyes. You had been trembling the entire day, ever since you had seen that damn photograph.

"I know, Eridan," Karkat whispers back, looking back earnestly. "I really do know." He reaches out to you and holds your hand within his own, as though he could protect you from the world. "And it'll be real hard for you to not be scared. You just gotta get through it though."

Then he's leaning forward slowly, and then pressing his lips against your own. It's the most adoring and loving kiss you'd ever had. Not even Fef seemed to have an emotion for you like Karkat did then. It might've not been romantic, but there was love.

"And I know you can get through it."


	3. Chapter 3

Reader: Be the Douchebag Hipster

"Do you know where you're going to college, Eridan?" Ms. Pyrope questions, folding one leg over the other and smiling oddly at you. Her daughter was just like her, you'd gather, since Terezi used to scare the shit out of you with a smile like that too. You don't really see her anymore.

There's a certain shame in your glance and voice when you shake your head and tell her no, you had no damn idea. Your father had taken away all the money invested in your previous college plans, and you're left floundering. If any luck is involved, you'll at least be able to bunk with Karkat for a while longer.

Your counselor sighs softly, her hands below her chin straining a bit. She seems somewhat disappointed, but you don't blame her. "Besides that then- there is… another issue we must talk about." You know exactly what this issue is, and you gulp in fright and sorrow. "There has been a lot of talk about you, I'm sure you know. It doesn't matter what is true or not true, but you must answer something for me. Are you- sure- that you aren't a boy?"

When you nod at her question, her lip tightens, and you are allowed to leave.

You probably have detention now.

.

The holiday season wasn't really all that warm of a time for your family. Being so torn apart for long amounts of time left everyone cold and distant. Still, the concept of spending the holidays away from family was heart-breaking. It felt just that much more aching when Karkat asked you about your plans and if you'd be joining his family.

"Why shouldn't you? It's not like they'll chomp off your head or something. They can actually be decent people if you give them half a chance," he tries to convince you as he changes into his pajamas. "And my aunt keeps asking me all these questions about you, she wants to make sure all her clothes fit well on you or something like that."

For a reason you aren't able to fully gauge, the urge to look away when he pulls down his pants overwhelms you, and you can't even look him in the eye or ignore his briefly half-naked form. There's heat on your cheeks too, which only serve to make you feel much more awkward. "I just don't want to be a bother, Kar…"

"But you're not!" He insists, surely with an annoyed glare in place. "Seriously, my family would be over the moon with disgusting holiday cheer. I'd even bet that my aunt will pinch your cheeks or something…" Karkat's voice falls away for a little while, a thought coming to mind that had been lost for a while. He finishes changing before coming back and sitting next to you, now voicing the new topic, "Why don't you wear any of the new clothes anyway? You still like them right? Or do they smell funny? My aunt does live with a guinea pig."

"No, no, it's not that," You reject, summoning a shy smile at the Vantas as you try to think of how you can tell him the truth. There's an awkward shifting on your part before you cough to clear your throat and say, "I just- don't feel quite right dressing up like that, at school."

"Why not?" He's asking immediately, catching you off guard.

"I just, I don't- I don't feel right dressing like that. I feel gross," you admit again. Gross. You never thought you would feel like that again. You thought it was hard dressing in your usual outfit, but now it's nearly unbearable to even look at women's clothing. Whenever you do, there's a certain tremble that races down your spine and makes you want to scratch out your insides. Just like before.

"Gross? You're not gross, Eridan! Except when you haven't showered in days. Here, I'll prove it to you." Karkat gets up and moves to his dresser, opening the bottom drawer where you stored all of the clothes his aunt had given to you. He pulls out random pieces of fabric and lays them on the bed, picking out what he thought would work. "Here, put this on."

A blush travels up your throat as you scramble to find an excuse why you couldn't. Why, why did he have to pick out one of the summer dresses? You tremble when he gives it a little shove in your direction, but there's nothing else you could do but take it.

He stares at you, expecting you to change right in front of him. Shit, that is the most awkward thing. Sure, you bet Feferi would have changed multiple times in the presence of Kanaya or even Aradia, but for you to do that in front of Karkat is blood curdling. Still, your hands move to tug off your shirt, and then shakily unbuckle your pants. You feel like you're being judged in the worst way possible, even though every time you glance at him Karkat is giving you a gentle gaze back.

Leaving on your briefs, you tug the dress on your somewhat lithe form, and it just barely holds you. But, just because it isn't slipping or tearing at the seams doesn't mean it fits you. The extra fabric around the chest is making your gut feel hollow, as well as the looseness in the hips.

Karkat gets up and guides you to the bathroom, insisting that you both look at your transformation in the mirror. Just as you suspected, you look ridiculous. You don't look like what you should, you look foul, like a god damn joke. Tears well in your eyes, and you're just a moment from collapsing into a fit of crying when you hear Karkat speak.

"You look beautiful, Eridan."

Nevermind, you still break into tears.

But it's a whole lot more comforting because you have your only friend holding you tightly, stroking along the back of the dress between your shoulder blades and whispering words of compliments and adoration.

Oh god, you love him.

.

"Oh, so this is the tranny that everyone's talking about? I must say, I'm not surprised that you ended up being a freak~"

Now you understand how Tavros ended up hating himself so much. Next time you meet him, you'll have to apologize. You make that a mental note to yourself as you try to ignore whatever else Vriska has to say to you.

"You know- my mother won't be able to stand for this kind of unruly behavior! She is in the school committee, you know?"

Well, now you know, but you also don't care. "I don't give two bleeding fucks, Vriska. Just leave me alone."

"I really doubt you should be talking like that to me, Ampora. My mother would not like to hear that there's a god damn tranny walking around in the school!"

You break. There's a split second for you to make the decision to actually do it, but you can't think properly. You shove the Serket into the nearby lockers, making her gape in shock before she kicks you back in the stomach. The scuffle is short and cut off by a nearby teacher, you being shoved away and taking the brunt of shame.

You know it will come back to bite you in the ass.

.

As it turned out, Karkat had convinced you enough to get you to join him for Thanksgiving up at his aunt's house. Still, the idea of meeting your best friend's family sounded intimate, like something a couple would do. You wore the same dress that Karkat convinced you to wear a couple days ago, but it's so hard to feel halfway comfortable in it. During the car ride, you tug at its fabric tightly, looking down at the way it fits you like it's some kind of devilish spawn.

It's hard to tug at the dress again when Karkat pulls your hand away and holds you affectionately, rubbing gentle circles into the palm of your hand. When you glance his way, he lifts your hand and kisses it briefly, smiling gently at you to try and put you at ease.

And it works.

God… you love him…

"We're here, c'mon." The house is spacious, clearly built to accompany many people. The lump in your throat re-develops and doesn't allow you to speak.

When you enter the house, your blood runs cold. There's so many people, people that you don't know, and it's so painfully obvious that you are a freakish boy in a dress. You swear your pupils dilate, and you move to escape, but Karkat holds you there.

"Oh, Karkles, hunny!" Your feet are stuck as you watch one woman approach Karkat. She hugs him tightly, moving to pinch his cheeks as well, which makes him grimace. When she lets him go, her attention turns to you. "And who is this with you?"

Karkat rubbed his cheek briefly before looking back toward you, gauging your frightened expression and moving to hold your hand. You swear that you squeeze it hard enough to break a few of his fingers. He smiles at the woman and responds, "This is the friend I talk to you about- the one who I gave your clothes to."

The woman's expression suddenly glows, and she smiles with a childish abandonment. "Oh you sweet thing, it's so good to meet you finally! You are so adorable~" Just as Karkat predicted, she moves forward to pinch your cheeks, but you don't have the heart to hate it. She turns to Karkat and whispers in a tone loud enough for you to hear, "Oh Karkles, she's so pretty."

...She?

"Come on everyone, let's have dinner!" She announces, and the other people in the house gather around for a gentle cheer. Your shock doesn't fade, and even when you look at Karkat, it's remaining. Did she- was she mistaken? Karkat only smiles at you, warmly like always, and the two of you move to have the Thanksgiving dinner.

And oh god, do you feel thankful.


	4. Chapter 4

Reader: Be the Douchebag Hipster

The dining room was alive with the sound of meaningless chatter and nonsense, not to mention the more than occasional swearing. Even with that, you feel a sense of comfort as you sit down, instantly greeted and welcomed into the warm atmosphere of familial bonds. Karkat sits on your right, and a gentleman with an air of superiority wearing bright red sat to your left. This particular stranger gave you a harsh glance, one that incited questioning, before looking back at Karkat briefly. He looks back at your after only a brief moment before giving a tight grin.

"My apologies for the possibility of myself seeming off-putting. I don' mean to offend any sensibilities that you may possess. You aren't the type of person I have usually associated with, at least not during the holidays. My name is Kankri Vantas, I am the elder sibling to that fellow you are sitting beside; did you happen to come with him? Are you his friend? What do you call yourself?"

Wow, quite the pair of lungs this guy must have. This warmth you're surrounded in has you feeling comfortable enough to give the guy a positive expression, and even respond in a friendly manner, "Yes, I did come with Karkat, and yes, we're friends. My name is Eridan Ampora."

Kankri nods, eyes glowing with a realization. "I could tell from your facial structures, and now confirmed, you are Cronus' younger sibling, aren't you? I've heard he hasn't gone to college yet, truly a waste of one's life if you asked me myself, but to each his own."

Throughout the Thanksgiving dinner, the warmth in your belly allowed you the attention span to be able to speak with Karkat's brother over the time. Hell, he even seemed somewhat delighted by it. Karkat was much quieter, but did fetch your attention every now and then to tell you about the different people at the table and what exquisite stories they might have been telling.

Near the end of the dinner, you still had multiple portions on your plate, and it was hard to continue eating it with Kankri speaking non-stop in your ear, but you didn't complain. You were just about to take a bite of turkey when the other spoke suddenly very harshly. "I understand that the possibility of my next question being triggering is very high, but not questioning is also very difficult for my own sensibilities. After all, to leave a question unanswered is the highest form of ignorance. So tell me, Eridan, why in the world are you wearing a dress on this particular day of question?"

Then you nearly choke. You start coughing on your food, the breath leaving your lungs like a heaved gasp. Karkat starts to harshly pat on your back whilst Kankri waits with laced fingers for you to answer his question. Although, once you gain your breath back, you feel as though you wish you were choking again. "I- well- I think that's more of a personal matter, isn't it?" You try to brush it off, looking awkwardly off to the side as your cheeks color in embarrassment.

Kankri raises a brow at your statement, as though he can't possibly take into account that you might not want to talk about it. "Yes, I suppose that is a reasonable response. However, have you ever taken into account how your actions might have impacted others? After all, out in a harsh world such as our own, walking along wearing something one shouldn't be wearing can get oneself into a good heap of trouble, can't it? Not only that, but others associated with such a person could possibly receive lash back for mere association. You should be more sensible to the emotions of people around you, Eridan, and understand how your actions were to possibly impact them."

An expression adorned with astonishment comes across your face, although it also withholding ultimate confusion. His superiority brought him to use words and twine them in such a way that it left you reeling, but you somewhat received the point he was trying to make. Before you even had a moment to respond though, Karkat is nudging closer. "Shut the hell up, Kankri. You don't know shit about what Eridan's dealing with. Don't talk about something you don't understand."

Kankri continued to have an innocently questioning expression, in fact, almost looking offended in an odd sort of way. "Karkat, I do know what I am talking about. I just want to make sure that your friend knows what he is doing with the actions that he is participating in. I'm sure his father wasn't quite pleased with this predicament, it makes me wonder why he allowed his son to-"

"No, you _don't _understand!"

Everyone left at the table looks back with widened expressions, even Karkat looks surprised. Overall though, you are the one most shocked at your sudden outburst. Your hands are shaking in your lap as you fiddle with the napkin lying there. There's nothing you can say, no where you can run to, nothing to hide you from certain shame.

You throw the napkin on the table and run out the front door, intending to wait there until it was time for Karkat and his dad to drive home.

It isn't a shock to you that a person came out to console you, but what did surprise you was that it was Karkat's aunt who had arrived. She sat numbly at your side, as if in a solemn manner, and folded her hands at her bent knees. She remained silent, brewing with you in melancholy, and eventually sighed as she tried to gather her words.

"I don't understand what you're going through, and I won't be able to. But, you must know Eridan, that I, as well as a lot of other people, will support you…" She starts off, a sad smile on her face. "Kankri is a harsh boy, and he is still a boy. He has a lot that he needs to learn, and maybe he won't even learn everything he needs to, but you must know that he is very ignorant to the issue that you are facing…"

You nod at her words. There's nothing you can think of to say, but if you did, it's not like it would matter. The warmth is gone, your gut is empty, and you feel like you're dad is walking in on you all over again.

And she understands that much. "If you need anything, like hand-me-downs, or accessories, just ask. I have an old box of make-up that I don't use, maybe you could make use of it?"

You nod again, actually feeling just the slightest bit better.

"Good- I'll give it to you before you leave. For now though, let's get you inside. It's kind of cold out."

.

Things get a little bit better after that. Kankri doesn't speak to you again, obviously having been told off by someone, and Karkat introduces you better to some of his cousins, aunts, and uncles. At one point, a few of his cousins end up tugging you about like the ruckus of kids they are, and Karkat has to drag them away to give you a chance to breathe.

You start smiling again throughout the evening.

By nightfall, it's time for you to go. Just like Karkat's aunt had promised, she caught you before leaving and presented you with a little box of many cosmetics. She even kisses your cheek sweetly after a swift pinch, smiling at you in the most adorable manner possible. It makes you smile back.

Before you know it, Karkat and you are heading off to bed. You crawl into his bed first, Karkat following after he brushed his teeth rather harshly. Things settle down quickly, but you feel as though the Vantas has something on his mind. So, you wait for a bit, still awake and merely relishing in the shared body heat.

Then he speaks.

"Eridan, I don't know what it's like with you dealing with this identity thing, a crisis sort of thing. I don't think I'll ever understand, but- do you think you could describe what it's like to me? So, maybe I would be able to understand, if only a little…" His voice fades off awkwardly, he sounding as though he shouldn't have even asked.

It is hard to answer though. You don't want to tear him down and tell him it's personal, but he doesn't know how difficult it is to put it into words. "It's hard," you admit, "But I guess I can describe the feeling. It feels, sometimes, that I'm wearing a shell. Everyone can see it, I know what it looks like, but they don't see what's under the shell. It's easier at first, but the more they recognize the shell, the more it seems to constrict, like being a second skin so uncomfortably tight. Now I'm trying to rip it apart, but people are so mad about it since they are used to the shell. I guess that's about it."

You can only barely see Karkat in the darkness, even though your eyes have adjusted. His face is slightly contorted with concentration. He sighs softly in thought and looks you in the eye. "It makes some sense. Like I said though, I won't ever really understand." He pauses, eyes flashing away briefly. "I wish I could though."

There isn't a good way to respond, so you change the subject. "Your aunt is really sweet. She gave me a bunch of stuff today…"

Karkat nodded at your statement. "Yeah- she gives really good presents too. I'm sure she'll want to give you something, even if she doesn't see you again until Christmas."

"I'm invited for Christmas?" You question incredulously, smiling widely.

Karkat furrows his brow, as though asking why you wouldn't be. "Well, yeah. It would be asshole-ish not to have you with us."

There's a silence then. Your thoughts skim around to the previous events of the last few days, all appearing very pleasant. But a particular incident comes to mind, and you realize you hadn't had the chance to talk to Karkat about it. "Kar- do you mind if I ask you about somethin…"

He nods at your question, and you speak once more, "A while ago, you kissed me. On the mouth, and all that- why'd you do that?"

Karkat blinks and answers after a moment, "It felt right. I guess it was just an impulse, but-" His sentence ends abruptly, but out of a lack of thought. You want to say something, anything, but you're at a loss of thought too. "Is there a reason you wanted to know, or-?"

There's a chance for you to think, but it doesn't last long. Your lips quiver gently before you speak back shyly, "Wanted to know if- you'd like to do that again."

Silence reigns once more, and it is thick with awkward tension and fright. You feel hands press at your arm, as though to push you away, and you become disheartened, all until the moment where those hands wrap around your torso and pull you into a pair of puckered lips. This kiss is clumsy and shy, even a bit hard to get together, but it makes you shiver anyway as your hands eagerly hold onto him as well.

The kiss evolves into something more, a collection of nibbles and smooches that travel from mouth to jaw, to throat, and back up again. And even with the length of time they consume, the activity never seems tiresome, and the presses of affection nearly last all the way until morning.


End file.
